It’s my GRANDbaby, and she is with her momma, daddy and “big” brother at the moment. I’m here, what more do you want?
After she arrives and I’ve nestled her into my arms, my youngest son leans in close and asks me how I can hold the baby and she “never” cries. (Me thinks he dost forget the night he popped his head up to tell me to quiet her down so he could sleep.)
I quipped back that I am just talented that way and that little bundle of love gave a huge smile at just that moment. What is she trying to say? “Oh, Grandma, yer killin’ me here! Not sure about the talented part, but you’re pretty funny!”
Later in the day, my own darling daughter pipes up out of the blue with, “You are the best mom in the whole wide world! And you are the beautifullest, too, and if anyone can’t see that that then they are blind!”
OK, well, she may be on to something there, but more significantly, I’m thinking her birthday and Christmas are a long ways away, we just passed Valentine’s Day and I sent her flowers like her daddy used to. Hmmm. Maybe she’s trying to up the ante for Easter.
Perhaps it’s more a response to their periodic comments, “I miss Daddy,” or they tell me, “I want a daddy.” It’s not like I go anywhere in search of ... . Maybe I’ll just put an ad in the paper. We’ve had this talk one too many times and it is hard on them, but this is not my first rodeo and relationships and marriage partners take time to develop.
Let’s not even forget that I will have to continue on with them after the children leave in a few years (quite a few). Perhaps I’m meant to finish out my life on my own. I would hope not, but if I am, so be it.
Most people my age are dealing with grandchildren and empty nests, not young children. My fault. I felt sure my late husband needed to know the tug on his heartstrings of a family and those little voices saying, “Daddy!” as he came into view. For the time he had it, he loved it.
None of that matters now, despite their yearnings for “Daddy” and I can’t help them there. I’ve realized yet again that no matter my plans, God’s will dominate. My very breath comes from Him. My reason for being was written before I came to be. God knew me way back when He was forming my very existence.
My life, literally, rests in His hands, the Author of my life, all for His glory. So, like Paul, I will say, “… for I have learned how to be content in whatever state I am.” (Philippians 4:11)
And when I think of God in my circumstances, I have to remember that I may be lonely at times and extremely busy with the kids, but I am never alone in this life. God is with me in all.
I’ll leave you with this quote by Helen Keller – “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love becomes a part of us.”
Perhaps that is why we remember the good and we tend to lose sight of the bad.