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The not-so-Amazing Spider-Man returns
by Paul Gonzales
May 09, 2014 | 12 views | 0 0 comments | 0 0 recommendations | email to a friend | print
BEEVILLE – Spider-Man is amazing no more.

The first “Amazing Spider-Man,” which was a reboot of Sam Raimi’s original Spider-Man trilogy, was plagued with flaws and weak storytelling. Not to mention confusion on why, after a mere five years after “Spider-Man 3” we were having to deal with another origin story and a completely new cast.

Sure, “Spider-Man 3” was the weakest entry to the original saga, but seeing how that movie grossed more money than “The Amazing Spider-Man 2” is definitely saying something about the new Spider-Man. Mostly, it’s that Sony Pictures screwed up by trying to fix something that wasn’t necessarily broken and now doesn’t know what to do with the character.

“Amazing Spider-Man 2” starts off with a prologue featuring Peter Parker’s parents who have a secret that must be kept safe, and that causes them to leave young Peter with his Aunt May and Uncle Ben.

His parents then upload some file and then get supposedly killed, yadda yadda.

No one cares.

The unnecessary plot device barely pays off around the middle of the movie and seems to add nothing to the overall narrative of the story.

Actually, most of the plot points in the movie don’t really add anything but padding to a self-depreciating, overblown, poor excuse for a Spider-Man film.

In the movie, Peter Parker, played by returning actor Andrew Garfield, is graduating from high school along with gal pal Gewn Stacy, the ever-lovable Emma Stone.

They love each other, but Parker realizes that ultimately, he can’t be with her because being Spider-Man will undoubtably put her in danger.

But then he changes his mind. Then he changes it again. Then he decides he can’t have her. Then he changes his mind again.

That generic plot point drags along through the entire movie and is supposed to create chemistry and show that they belong together, which never really seems to work.

Actually, when Spider-Man isn’t wearing his mask and fighting baddies, the movie is a complete and udder bore. Parker has transformed in to a whiny, poorly-spoken man-child.

He sulks around the streets of New York, meets up with his old pal Harry Osbourne, and they trade generic love advice and dumb stories from their childhood.

The movie seems rushed while feeling dragged on at the same time. All the important character development went out the window for the sake of more story lines that try to make the story seem epic, but instead cause the audience to shrug and continue their nap.

There’s not much else you can say about the movie without giving it all away, except that the movie is stuffed with cheap plot lines that never even have a real payoff.

There’s way too many villains that don’t really do anything but show up from time-to-time to menace Spider-Man, then leave.

They all simply come off as cameos.

The most fun the movie has to offer is when Spider-Man is actually fighting bad guys, times which are way too far and few between for a superhero movie.

It’s always enjoyable to see Spidey use his webs and snide humor to outwit the villains, but it seems that as soon as he gets into the full swing of things, it’s over and he’s the dull Peter Parker again.

The entire film feels as if it was made in the ’90s when superhero movies were nothing but a money grab with cheap stories and dumb exposition. The film actually reminds me of director Joel Schumacher’s duds “Batman Forever” and “Batman & Robin.”

The effects are cheap; the characters are basically caricatures of real humans, and nothing in the movie warrants any sort of emotional investment at all.

For “Amazing Spider-Man 3,” they have their work cut out for them. Six villains are rumored to show up, but they really need to figure out what to do with Spider-Man first and foremost, and possibly attempt to make him amazing again.

Paul Gonzales is the entertainment writer at the Bee-Picayune and can be reached at 358-2550, ext. 116, or at thescene@mySouTex.com.
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