I thought, yeah, yeah, OK, I’ve got this. I know about this stuff. Isn’t that what I have been writing “lo these many years?”
We are His, after all, and we are to walk in His word, living and breathing it in. We are to be servants and not those who take. We are to be humble and not braggadocios. That’s me, right? I mean, I didn’t want my name on this column. I didn’t want my photo attached either. I stammer and hesitate to tell others that I write it.
I tell the story of my adopted children only to explain the circumstances because they confuse them for my grandchildren and then to help them realize that it was not a noble deed in taking them in and I simply must set that record straight, right?
I just love them, no matter how many times anyone sees or hears me “setting them straight,” and it was a “God thing” as to why we adopted them.
When times are easy, I am all over God showing me His favor and I am a righteous person. I might walk piously in all the easy times “lording” over others just how they “should” behave in the difficult times. I mean, I am kind and loving about it, but I tend to think, “Thank you God that it is not me,” but I am not a Pharisee about it. When I face the difficult times, and I have been through them, and come out on the other side better than I was before, I praise God for His love and mercy.
Well, that is, until God called my best friend home over three years ago. The other night in the chapel, when they handed out the slip of paper, not even a 2x3, and asked us to write what is standing between giving ourselves fully to God, immediately, I thought, well, nothing.
Then I thought, well, except for the hurt and betrayal at His taking my husband. And then there is the anger at being alone to raise the kids. And those who have lied to me, used me, talked about me, and the list continued to the other side, the corners, and I was looking for more paper.
Then I thought about the speaker and why I was here to listen to a less comedic, lively man, until he gigged me with a statement - “Challenges faced today will lead to a greater faith tomorrow.”
I mean, I know that, but I needed to be reminded and maybe not quite so entertained by the speaker this time. And he asked us how we deal with life’s disappointments. He told us a statement he had heard - “For those who don’t know Jesus, this life is as good as it gets. For those who know Jesus, this is as bad as it gets.”
Ooo, this one is a straight-shooter! Now I am going to have to readjust my thinking, allow God to change me or I could be like those in John 6, “After this, many of His disciples drew back and no longer accompanied Him.” (verse 66)
Have I been turning, walking, or running from the God I say I love? Have I been a prodigal? Do I need to post a sign that reminds me not to determine my theology at my darkest hour, but instead, do as our study in David shows us: “What time I am afraid, I will have confidence in and put my trust and reliance in You. By God I will praise His word; on God I lean, rely, and confidently put my trust; I will not fear. What can man, who is flesh do to me?” (Psalm 56:3-4)
I’d say I’ve been divinely placed in this camp session, for the messages I have heard, with the supportive, encouraging folks I have met along my way.
Thank You, Lord, for once again taking me out of myself and showing me Your truth through everyone here, the activities, and the studies. Please, continue to bless those who make all of this happen.